Марсианский пейзаж

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The Black Bra (told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Zorro?"

Русская тройка

Русский народ не имеет плана действий... Он страшен своей импровизацией.

Русский человек читает инструкцию только тогда, когда точно понял, что поломал.

В России алкоголизмом не страдают. Им наслаждаются.

Смотрю в книгу вижу фигу

Our analysis is based on a WKB type expansion for the heat kernel of a perturbed Laplace-Beltrami operator on a suitable hyperbolic Riemannian manifold.

Точно помню, что я когда-то знал, что все эти слова означают. А сейчас хоть не читай ничего кроме Summary & Conclusions.